The first of these is in honor of Becca's 1st weird thing.
"Drinking 5 or 6 Mountain Dews on an a.m. [overnight shift] doesn't ensure that you'll stay awake. It just ensures that when you fall asleep your heart will be palpitating." unnamed Hewitt guard
"The 2nd rule of excessive drinking, the 1st, of course is never take a sudden shine to a woman larger than Hoss Cartwright, is never drink in a place on a steep slope" Bill Bryson Notes from a Small Island
"Young Abe would get out there with his axe, and he'd split hundreds of rails at a time, and people would come from miles around. 'Dammit, Lincoln,' they'd say, 'those rails cost good money!' But in the end they forgave young Abe, because he had the axe." Dave Barry Dave Barry Slept Here